Category: Joke Board
> > A guy walks into a bar with his service animal, a monkey. He orders
> > a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the
> > place. The monkey grabs some
> > olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some
> > sliced limes and eats
> > them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of
> > the billiard balls,
> > sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement,
> > somehow swallows it whole.
> >
> > The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what
> > your monkey just did?"
> >
> > The guy says "No, what?"
> >
> > He just ate the cue ball off my pool table-whole!"
> >
> > "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he
> > eats everything in
> > sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for the cue
> > ball and stuff." He
> > finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff
> > the monkey ate, then leaves.
> >
> > Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his
> > monkey with him. He
> > orders a drink and the monkey starts running around
> > the bar again. While the
> > man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a
> > maraschino cherry on the
> > bar.. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out,
> > and eats
> > it. Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks
> > it up his ass, pulls
> > it out, and eats it.
> >
> > The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your
> > monkey did now? He asks.
> >
> > "No, what?"replies the guy.
> >
> > "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up
> > his ass, pulled it out,
> > and ate it!" said the bartender.
> >
> > Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He
> > still eats everything
> > in sight, but ever since he had to shit out that cue
> > ball, he measures
> > everything first."